You’re up, kid.

If you missed tonight’s episode, you can download it here.

“Smells like my Aunt Mildred.”

“Mr. Schuester, I changed my mind. April should stay. I worship her.”

drunky kurt

Mercedes: Hey—she’s on to it.
Tina: I know! It’s really freaking me out. Hold up. Artie’s buzzing in. I’m going party line.
Artie: Dudes, this is serious! If she finds out, she’s gonna tell Finn! She’s a total trout mouth.
Tina: Kurt wants in.
Kurt: I say we lock Rachel up until after Sectionals. I volunteer my basement.
Mercedes: We can’t! We need her to sing.
Kurt: Damn her talent.
Santana: We just heard! Who told?
Artie: We assumed it was you.
Santana: And why would I do that?
Kurt: To get back at Puck. Aren’t you guys dating?
Santana: Sex is not dating.
Brittany: If it were, Santana and I would be dating.
Santana: Look, I don’t want to rock the boat. Since Quinn got pregnant, I’m top dog around here.
Mercedes: Hold up, Rachel’s walking by. (to Rachel) Hey, hot mama!
(Rachel walks away)
Mercedes: She’s gone. Look, I know I screwed up telling you guys about Quinn and Puck, and I feel really terrible about it! But we can’t let Rachel figure this out. If she tells Finn, he’s going to flip!
Kurt: And then we really have no chance at Sectionals.